Being Alone

So many people in the world are afraid of being alone. No one wants to be a loner, most of us are really afraid of being alone or abandoned or dumped. As a part of the human race, a part of a social species, it has been programmed into us that loneliness = unhappiness.

I’ve only come to realise how truly boring I can be by being alone with myself. When you actually have to be alone with yourself and keep yourself entertained, you can almost lose your mind. I’ve spent years and years trying to make friends, be accepted, and surround myself with others. But can I expect others to accept me and want to be around me when I can hardly be around myself? Go on, try it. For one day just be with yourself. Don’t contact anyone, don’t plan anything, don’t watch T.V or go on Facebook to check how the worlds going. Just spend the day being with yourself. It’s amazing how much you learn when you sit down and try entertaining yourself. I, for one, learnt that I’m a very impatient person. I can’t sit and just do nothing and think about nothing. I find myself immediately distracted with thought or up and about doing something else without even realising it.

But being alone with yourself is a skill everyone should possess. I’m not saying spend the rest of your life in solitary confinement because we need people to engage us in life. But to have the ability to sit alone with oneself is truly amazing. I’m still learning how to do it. You come to realise that you are complete within yourself. You have come onto this planet with everything you need to survive and be happy. Other people or things may help you feel happy, which is a true gift, and in my case consists of my best friend, chocolate and relationships. But in the end you are the only person in control of your happiness… No one else is responsible for your happiness and if someone makes you happy then see it is a blessing – not as an entitlement. I mean of course there’s going to be expectations – for example – you expect your partner to treat you with care, respect, and appreciation, but they should be doing this out of choice and not out of mere obligation. Therefore I believe, at least one of the keys to unlock happiness is the ability to be alone with oneself and feel content. To be able to sit down with yourself and think ‘I enjoy my own company’. Once you can do this, you unlock the ability to enjoy so many other things in life and not be afraid of being alone.



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